These people are good examples of the "Dressed Ned". They've been kitted out in all the most expensive gear (and rather fashionable you have to admit...okay, maybe not) and went out for a night on the town. It's almost a certainty that soon after this photo was taken, Rab, on the left, glassed an innocent by-stander outside the club, Shug, in the center, was arrested and spent a night in the cells and Jobby on the right got so leathered that he spent the night in an alleyway and later pissed himself.
Well, what can I say. Every ned needs to have his first trip to the off-license and we are all lucky to experience this young ned's first trip. Although he does look slightly overwhelmed by the whole experience it would have been a matter of seconds before he plucked up the courage to ask for his first bottle of pulse.
Well, nuff said about this young chap.
Check the guy on the right. If there was ever going to be a stereo-type of a stereo-type then this common ned is it. He's got the look of a wee cheeky ned who's just hit puberty and is now graduating. It's a pity that the picture is so poor because this is probably my favorite ned of all time. MD 20/20, big berghaus jaiket, socks over trackies, cap, stupid expression on the face. Ahhhh, it doesn't get much better than this.
These three little tykes are wee cheeky neds. The one in the middle is almost certainly saying something cheeky to the person with the camera and he will be the first to graduate to his own squad. It's puzzling me as to why these three aren't pictured in a bus stop with a protective squad. Perhaps they were burgling the place and found a camera.
This little squad is not from Glasgow. They are from another part of Scotland and are obviously aspiring to the standards of the Glasgow ned, but they seem to lack the structure of a Glasgow squad. This picture was included to back up one of my more subtle observations. When neds give you the finger they always do this thing with their mouth which is quite hard to describe and until now I've not really had a picture to back it up, but this picture is great because 6 of the 8 neds are doing that thing with their mouth, the 'Robert DiNero', See what I mean?
Here is a typical ned squad from Glasgow. This group is made up of a number of common neds with aftershock boy and the chosen one, Neo, looking to be graduating into the dressed ned category. The one holding the bottle of aftershock probably drank most of it himself, got leatherd and declared himself "pure mental". The psychy of the ned would not allow them to posess a bottle of red/pink after shock because it looks too poofy and they wouldn't be seen dead with a bottle of green aftershock beacause it might make people on the passing busses, which they like to pelt with stones, think that they are a Celtic squad.
Although this picture is funny, I'm not totally convinced that these guys are real neds. The problem is that there does seem to be a slight bit of intelligence in the eyes and not enough confusion wrinkles on the forehead. The Burberry jumper is top quality (SARCASM) and I'm slightly concerned that the guy on the right actually owned this (JOKING).
This opportunist photograph captures a ned 'tankin' it away on a child's bicycle. What has he just done? Did he steal the bike? It looks like we'll never know. He also has the obligatory plastic bag with mystery items inside which you will usually see attached to most beggar neds arms as they travel from post to post on a good days work.
This photo contains a number of common neds, a wee cheeky ned on the left and an attempted dressed ned called Henry in the centre. The one with his fingers stuck up to the camera is most likely considered a complete stunner amongst the senga neds due to the immense number of spikes in his fringe and the unnatural tan. More fringe spikes equals a bigger "stunner", more unnatural tan equals a bigger "stunner".
