It's common knowledge that all neds carry mobile phones with them everywhere they go, using them to share their ned tunes with everyone around them. Whether it's on buses, in train stations, or outside the local off-license, we've all had to experience their crappy chipmonk songs. Well, now you can once again experience these audio atrocities in the comfort of your own home.

DYT Boys If you want to listen to a ned talking in a high pitched voice to some music, listen to this. "DYT, who are we?" We don't f*cking care.

Dj WeeCee This short "tune" by DJ Wee Cee is a typical example of ned music, complete with ned voice over and the usual "stuttering" effect. It's crap.

Dj Rydo Vs Dj Div Best line in this: "Want a mars bar? Well tough, yer no gettin one ya wee fat shite".

Dj John Emm Cee YSP This Dj seems to have attempted to make a genuine ned tune rather than a young team jingle. And it's still crap.

Dj Fleming Dj Fleming has turned the "Brick Shop" sound clip into his very own ned tune.

Dj Ped This one isn't half bad, there's some good use of voice clip sampling. Not bad Dj Ped.

Dj Nimmo Vs Dj Speirsy Perfect example of how a homemade ned tune should sound. Has the high pitched voice, the stuttering effects, the lot.

Dj Nimmo Vs Dj Speirsy More Dj Nimmo Vs Dj Speirsy, not much different from the last though.

Dj Liam This one is rather lazy, there's not much effort to correctly place the chipmonk voices to be in time with the music. The final result is probably not much different from the music Dj Liam stole.

Dj Flea Another rather lazy effort, all Dj Flea has done is overdub a well known tune with his banter. Not bad, but could be better.

Penilee-Boyz A rather funny effort here from the penilee boys! They have the banter, the chipmonks, the echos...these boys know how cheap ned music is done!

Henson and Fallon Apparently this is a diss of a chap named "Gary Dean". He has to lose some weight, so we're repeatedly told in this poor effort of a song. Shame on you, Henson and Fallon!

Dj Xtreem Vz Dj Dazz Hardstyle, they call it. And it's a very good example of a ned tune, better than most here. These guys are pros in the ned music field.

Jamesy Boi Another half decent ned tune, although Jamesy Boi may have over did it with the high pitched voices at some points.

Dj DivE Proper booming, bouncing ned music here by Dj DivE. I could easily imagine this blasting from ned mobile phones all over Glasgow.

Dj Andz A little bit of nice chewin the fat sampling in this one, but where are the high pitched ned voices? The stuttering? The swearing? Not really a proper ned tune, but fair effort.

Dj Tigger Another decent effort here, this time from Dj Tigger, sounds like a proper "dancin" tune. If this is all his own work and not ripped off, then nice job.

Dj Savage Vs Dj Sweendawg This one actually gave me a headache. Play this loudly to people you don't like, and give them headaches too!

Dj Rubb-a-Dubb This guy has the best Dj name yet. His song, however, is nothing special.

Dj Pink Okay, the repetition in this one has been taken a little too far at times. Typical ned effort otherwise.

Dj Obbie1canobbie Naming yourself after a Star Wars character? Very geeky for a ned. Very sh*te southside diss here, chipmonk voices all the way through.

Dj Malkie, Dj Wee Kee, Dj Fukin Dee This Dj trio, from Edinburgh based on their accents, think that making a ned song involves shouting their names over and over again, to some very quiet music. Trash.

Dj Fukin Jamesy Vs Dj Zander These two succeed in making ned songs, in that they chose the most annoyingly wailing hi-pitched song they could to sample. Like the above trio, they also like to repeatedly shout their names.

Dj Dowelly Based on its file name, Dj Dowelly made this for his girlfriend Kirsty. Is this how neds show affection, making each other ned tunes instead of sending flowers? Not a bad effort compared to some of the trash i've had to listen too.

Dj Dowelly More from Dj Dowelly, another reasonable ned tune, this guy has the formula cracked.

Dj Dazz Christ, this track is annoying. It sounds more like a record skipping than a proper ned tune. Very irritating.

Dj Cooper Very short track here from Dj Cooper. Call yourself a Dj?

Dj Stoosh A true mix of noise here, random ned voices, random sampling. "Somebody's gonnae get chibbed" was a nice touch.

Dj Jacko Why was this recorded so damn quiet? Probably a good thing actually. And what's the very muffled voices? I'd have a word with your sound manager Dj Jacko.

Dj Wallace Strange choice of song to mix here...Kingston Town?? Not a terrible effort from Dj Wallace here, but where were the ned voices? Where was the "this is Dj Wallace"?

Dj Savage Here is Dj Savage's "daily diss". Crap ned music complete with ned insults. Wonder who those poor people he is insulting are. Is this how Dj neds dish out retribution? Instead of beating people up, they insult them in a "daily diss".