The above picture shows a Glasgow underground station. Bleak looking isn't it? The decor is again, like Central Low Level, very 1970's. There isn't a great problem with vagrants down here (I think because it costs 90p) but there are occasional problems with the more well off common ned (kappa trackies cost quite a lot of money you know). They will come on to the carriage that you're on (they always do), light up a 'fag', drink their 'broon wine' and generally intimidate everyone on that carriage. The passengers do nothing, which is quite understandable really since the repercussions may involve a knife in the face and it's not worth it for 10 minutes of uncomfortable travel, but also the underground staff do nothing, which is quite unacceptable but then is it worth a knife in the face for five pounds per hour? This sort of incident may happen about 1 in every 10 to 15 journeys so it's not really a place to avoid. It's a good way to get to the nicer parts of Glasgow.

TOP TIP: when you're standing on a platform waiting for the train to come it is advisable to have a look around you to see who is waiting also. If there is a ned on the platform you will need to keep one eye on the carriage which it enters then head straight for another one.

Why not play a game? You can get two frineds and head down to the underground. Since there are three of you, you can all take a carriage each and decide which stop to get off at. When you all get off the train you can compare the number of neds you counted on the journey and the person who counted the most neds wins a fiver.

"I was at a self service ticket machine getting a childs fare when suddenly this tramp came up to me and shoved ths ticket which he obviously found on the floor (it was still valid for that day) in my face and said he needed food. It was quite scary as he practically shouted at me to buy this ticket for one pound" - Lisa, London